Brother, Can You Spare a Laptop?

Today is the first day of the rest of my new laptop’s life. I’ve had computers before, but getting my hands on this particular one has been a semi-retarded uphill battle. It all started about a month and a half ago, when I and most of my colleagues were fired. Our old job had a bunch of perks, including a super souped-up desktop computer that met all of my work and artistic needs. Once that job ended, the computer that I had been in bed with for over 13 months stopped being my computer. So what’s the logical next step? Purchase a new computer. But with this economy, it’s kind of hard to go out and spend $600 plus dollars on a decent computer when you have a perfectly crappy, monitor-less laptop sitting at home just waiting to suck. My old computer is a MacBook I had purchased back in 2004. I love that computer but the fact of the matter is that it’s outdated & very slow.  The monitor doesn’t work so I have to walk around with an external plug-in monitor everywhere I go & that just takes all the portability out of a laptop.

Fast forward a few days later. Once again I am employed. The new job requires a computer so I decided to stick it out and bring my Mac Frankenstein laptop into work every day, but it just couldn’t keep up with my pace. So I made a decision: I was going to take most of my first paycheck and purchase a new Sony VAIO laptop. One day after work I convinced a buddy of mine to drive me to Best Buy to make the purchase. Everything went fine & I walked out with my brand new computer. I was so happy and grateful that my friend had driven me that I decided to offer him a milkshake from Steak ‘n Shake.

We roll up to the restaurant and I give my friend the cash so he can go and purchase the shakes because I didn’t want to leave the new laptop in the car by itself. About five minutes go by and I say to myself, “What the hell, let me go in and grab my own shake. It won’t even take a minute.” I stash the new laptop out of sight underneath the seat, get out of the car and lock it. It took me about 40 seconds to get into the restaurant. Twenty more seconds go by and that’s when I hear it. “Look their breaking into a car!!!” I turn around and see a brown car speeding off. I run out and see glass all over the place. Someone has smashed the window and stolen my new laptop. I try to run after the car but alas, I could not catch up. I walk back to a horrible scene: my friend’s window is busted, it’s about to rain and I pretty much feel like the dumbest human being on the face of the earth, not dumber than George W. Bush, but extremely dumb.

“What did I do to deserve this,” I scream out into the dark sky, but no one answers. I suspect I’m the only that can answer that question. My friend does not have insurance. I feel so bad about the incident that the next day I have his window replaced, which adds $200 to my great disappearing money act. It was one hell of a week to say the least.

Which brings me to today. I have been unhappily using my old Mac for work since I was basically all out of options and money for the last month. This morning I get into the office and set everything up. I’m sitting at my desk, having a conversation with my coworkers/friends, and that’s when it happened. The charger for my Mac started blowing out sparks and actually caught fire. It was a small fire but enough to make me question just how nurturing god’s love really is. I thought I was done for, no laptop equals no work. And then something amazing happened: my boss agrees to lend me the money for a new laptop, which he will then dock out of my next paycheck.

“Why the hell not,” I said. I grab a bat and head over to Best Buy. I buy the exact laptop that got stolen from me. This time I have my friend drive straight back to the office, ignoring all traffic stops and pedestrians in our way. The new Sony VAIO works perfectly and once again all is right with the world. My new laptop is safe now and I hope we have a long prosperous relationship.

E Laptop