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Calling All Movie Critics

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As one of the behind-the-scenes people at FilmNet, I get to see how the site is shaping up as we fast approach our launch date. And I have to say, I’m getting really excited! This is going to be the ultimate site for film lovers - THE place for news, reviews, and the best of online movies.

I’ve been busy writing reviews and working hard to awesomify our review section before we pull back the curtain in September. This has been a decidedly mixed summer at the movies. (Harry: You’re still a wizard. Michael Bay: Could you tone it down just a wee bit?) On FilmNet, you’ll find reviews of movies playing at a theater near you, as well as critiques of the latest DVD releases and an extensive catalog of what are essentially nostalgia pieces - movies that came out a long time ago but we’ve decided to revisit. And, of course, reviews of your short films!

But I can’t do this all by myself, people, and for two reasons: 1) I am only one man; and 2) That’s not what FilmNet’s all about. This is about building a community of film fanatics, and we want our review section to have the same diversity of opinion as any other great user-driven Web site.

So if you like writing about movies, please send us your reviews! On the site, each review will have its own page, with your byline, stills from the movie and ratings on a five-star scale. The review page will link to a profile page, where you can pimp just about anything you want: social networking sites, other places where users can read your work, whatever! Please include a star rating along with the name you want your reviews to be published under. You can e-mail me at sbshupe@filmnet.com.

‘S. Darko’ unworthy sequel to cult classic

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What’s the most ridiculous thing you can imagine happening in a Donnie Darko sequel? Is it Elizabeth Berkley walking around with a book called Jesusonomy? That (and much more) happens in S. Darko, a direct-to-DVD sequel to Richard Kelly’s 2001 cult fave. It’s more like a spinoff than a sequel. The closest thing I can compare it to is Walter Murch’s Return to Oz, which used some of the same characters from The Wizard of Oz but felt completely alien to the spirit of the original.

As the title suggests, S. Darko concerns Donnie’s kid sister, Samantha (Daveigh Chase). Seven years have passed since her brother’s death (the film is set in 1995). Sam has run away from her home in Middlesex, Virginia, and set off for Hollywood. This backstory is explained in a ludicrous epilogue that I can’t resist quoting from: Sam is “seemingly alone and lost in the world.” She’s “drowning in sadness and unable to dream.” Oh, and “when darkness consumes the starlight, nightmares rule the night.” Is this movie for real or what?

Sam and her bitchy friend Corey (Briana Evigan) get sidetracked on the way to Hollywood and end up in a bumfuck town in Utah. There, she learns the world will end in 4 days, 17 hours, 26 minutes and 31 seconds. In a place like this, the end can’t come soon enough.

Just like that doomsday countdown, there are other “quotes” from the original. Roberta Sparrow’s grandson, Iraq Jack (James Lafferty), says “they made me do it” (a phrase Donnie scrawled on the pavement after vandalizing his school). There’s a character named Frank (as in Frank the Giant Bunny Rabbit). A portal opens up in an empty movie theater. Time travel plays a big part, as does Roberta Sparrow’s book, The Philosophy of Time Travel. And so on. If you think the experience of watching a Donnie Darko sequel made without Kelly’s blessing might feel slightly sacrilegious, you wouldn’t be half wrong.

The original inspired fierce love and passionate debate. I used to watch it about once a week, and with each viewing, I felt like the puzzle pieces would add up to something even more profound than the conclusions I drew the last time. S. Darko inspires nothing but confusion; it’s disjointed and meaningless. It has missing kids, ghosts, a car crash, scenes that double back on themselves - but none of it connects. It’s an insult to Richard Kelly’s intelligence.

On the plus side, the film features some witty casting. Chase is the same little girl from the original, now all grow’d up. It’s funny to see Berkley (from Showgirls) looking all churchy and self-righteous. Lensing, scoring and FX work are all top-notch. See it if you must, but for me this story ended when David waved at Gretchen in the street at the end of the original - the ultimate hello and goodbye.

‘Adventureland’ is a Fun Ride

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Before it disappeared from theaters after two or three weeks, I was lucky enough to catch this with a friend and we both thought it was one of the best things we’d seen in a long, long time.

It’s set in the summer of ‘87. Recent college grad James (Jesse Eisenberg) has just lost his European vacation money. Left with few options (he majored in Renaissance Studies), he takes a job at the local amusement park, where he falls hard for a girl, Em (Kristen Stewart). My favorite character at the park is Joel (Martin Starr). He smokes a pipe and has adopted the fatalistic worldview of 19th-century Russian writers like Tolstoy. I’ve known people like this. I’ve known summers like this, too. More than anything else I’ve seen, Adventureland captures the dichotomy created by going to a crappy job every day to work with people you like.

The scenes between Eisenberg and Stewart (so much more vivid here than she was in Twilight) feel achingly real, while Starr and Ryan Reynolds (as the park’s resident Lothario) both turn in career-best performances. The soundtrack is filled with college radio faves by The Replacements, Big Star and The Cure.

This movie is sad, funny and weirdly familiar - each scene reminds you of something you’ve either felt, thought about or, if you’re lucky enough, experienced.

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